Honestly, Honesty...?

How honest can one be in a relationship?

My colleague was telling me about a girl he knows and how she was telling him that she recently broke up with her bf of 1 year. She's 20 and her bf's 28. Reason for break up was that he's too controlling. Seems he didn't like her chatting with male strangers on the net. I gave my 2 cents, about maybe during that 1 year, one or the other might have cheated on the other or perhaps have not been honest in some way. My colleague said that he feels the bf has an immature thinking for a guy his age. Besides, the guy is a divorcee and has a daughter. So why is it that he's so petty about chatting with people online? Afterall, so long as she doesn't do anything with these strangers behind his back. I say that the bf was just too old for the girl and he probably feels insecure.

But I do honestly think that there is not enough amount of trust and honesty in the relationship to began with. I wouldn't say that my relationship is ideal but I do tell my man everything. Just last Sunday, I met up with a net friend for the 1st time for a movie and I made sure I told my man about it. He was cool about it as he knew what I was up to and all through that day, I try to keep him informed of my whereabouts. It's always a give and take in every relationship. I give him information, he gives me freedom. I do my part by staying loyal and keeping him informed (without him even asking) and he need not worry. I guess we all need to be a bit 'smart' sometimes to know what correct actions to do / take, as a bf / gf.

I, for one, never thought that I would be able to be so honest to my other half. It has come to a point that I even tell him about my past (including the men and experiences), present (who I go out with, my friends, my family and what I do) and future (my plans and expectations). Initially, I was reluctant as I didn't know how he would take it and wondered if he would use it against me in the future, but he has been nothing but supportive. In return, he shares his life tales with me. And surprisingly, instead of feeling jealous or hurt, I feel honored instead. Afterall, what's passed is the past. So long as we now know our roles now and be faithful to each other. Being open and honest brings trust.

I would not recommend EVERYONE to try this technique as some people might not be so good at handling the truths. But I do suggest that this is a good way of building and maintaining a strong relationship. Nothing is perfect, I know. But we can at least try to make it 90% of the way.

Disclaimer: The author would like to emphasize that advises given on this entry should be taken and tried at one's own risk.